Executive Marriage Coach – How to be a Leader in Your Home this Thanksgiving

In the workplace, leaders set the tone and the culture of the organization. This is certainly true at home as well. The tone you set has a big impact on your wife or husband, yours kids and others around you. Have you noticed that your family will mirror that type of attitude and energy you project?

I remember as a kid how my Dad always made holidays special simply by his cheerfulness. His joy was having his family around him and he let us know how grateful he was for life’s little pleasures. His leadership made an impression on me that has never left and I strive to emulate.

So how will you lead in your home this Thanksgiving? Here are some words from my friend and author Cari LaGrange Murphy that will encourage you. “The act of appreciating someone or something can be likened to nurturing a seedling with sunshine! We are giving that “seed of desire” the positive energy it needs to sustain itself and grow! When we choose to believe in someone or something, miracles begin to happen. Offering unconditional love provides the space for anything to thrive and grow!”

I am fortunate enough to be spending this holiday with my wife, our two daughters and their husbands, and our darling granddaughter. Like my father before me, I can think of nothing better and I am deeply grateful. May you also be filled with gratitude for all the small and the grand things in your life!

Executive Marriage Coach – Are you Irriated with your Spouse?

Have you ever noticed that your spouse tends to irritate you most on the issues that are most important to you?  For example, I am pretty disciplined about taking care of my health and have developed consistent habits about diet, exercise, sleep, and recreation.  I am not very disciplined about things like keeping my stuff organized or remembering the details of life.  These things are just less important to me.

As you might suspect, my wife is just the opposite and is disciplined where I am not.  We get into conflict when we try to impose what we think is important onto the other.  When I find myself being critical, irritable, and judgmental about what is important to me then I get myself out of feeling peaceful and create irritation for her as well.  Likewise she gets annoyed with me when I forget my cell phone at home or loose track of what I had committed to do.  Frankly she is better at finding humor and acceptance in this than I am with her.

In a conversation with a coaching client, she talked about having similar struggles in her marriage, only with more painful problems.  She shared some wisdom learned out of a study written by Beth Moore of the Biblical story of Esther.  She described how Esther learned in her struggles that her responsibility was to show up and do the things that were asked of her and that God was working behind the scenes to transform the hearts of people. Then situations changed in miraculous ways.

This was a reminder that when we are facing challenges in our lives and our relationships, big or small, it is not our job to try to change people or control outcomes of situations.  Our responsibility is to approach these situations with integrity and humility, to love and accept our partners and ourselves.  Then we can learn what we need to learn about ourselves and about living in trust rather than fear and frustration.

Executive Marriage Coach – Constant Transformation Is the New Normal

Ever find yourself wondering when things are going to settle down and get back to “normal”?  Here is an article from Harvardbusiness.org  that talks about how to adjust to the “new normal”.   Think about how this effects not only your work life but your personal life and marriage as well.  Personally I think we are in need of new models about how we adapt to this era of continuous change.  Food for thought.

…One point I made in my remarks is that the forces at work in the magazine business — increased competition, rapidly shifting technologies, and emerging disruptive business models — are the forces that are reshaping many parts of the global economy. In other words, the challenges of the magazine industry are the challenges of industry, period.

What does it take to respond to these challenges? I jotted down three thoughts on the train ride back to Boston after the conference.