All of us have scars from past experiences that cause pain and conflicts in the present. Until we allow healing of the wounds from those things long ago hidden away they will continue to surface in one form or another; self-destructive behaviors, physical or emotional symptoms, or recurring patterns of conflict in your relationships.
We seek various and sometimes desperate ways to heal and fulfill ourselves. The problem is we are not created to fulfill ourselves. Nor are we created to find fulfillment, deep-down fulfillment that our souls long for, in our relationships. Seeking fulfillment of our deepest needs outside of ourselves is like a race with no ending. It will exhaust you.
Instead we are invited to rest in the knowledge that we are of Spirit and created to find fulfillment in God. We are loved perfectly and completely. Life serves the purpose through experience of understanding this love more fully. When we stop seeking and start receiving we can then live not to fulfill ourselves but to express ourselves. Marriage and other intimate relationships then take on the purpose of loving rather than demanding that our partners fulfill us. It is love that heals us. Love is why we are here.