Executive Marriage Coach Interviews Author Maria Gamb

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 16 of the Virtual Blog Tour for Healing the Corporate World by author Maria Gamb.

Written by former Fortune 500 executive, Maria Gamb, who spent more than 20 years trailblazing businesses valued at upwards of $100 million, Healing the Corporate World is a cutting-edge book examining the deep, and usually unspoken, ailment of the modern corporate world, offering solutions for healing at a personal, financial and even spiritual level. By showing the reader “the four cycles of transformational leadership”, Maria provides business leaders, from solo entrepreneurs to corporate senior executives, practical answers on how to transform their organizations from the inside out, and become “Change Agents”, consciously creating their own reality.

Yesterday, Maria visited Tomar Levine at www.YourTimeToBloom.com .     For today’s stop on the tour, I decided to ask Maria some questions about value based leadership and relationships.
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Tom: What advice do you have for rebuilding trust when it has been damaged in an important relationship?

Maria: Great question Tom!  Unfortunately in our society right now many feel that they have been lied to and that “trust” has been broken.  You see it all over the news, hear it in coffee shops and in line on the supermarket in regards to the economic state and the recent downsizing of so many jobs.  However, often times situations that feel chaotic and disastrous can actually be an important part in the process of moving forward in a more productive manner.  In this case, we’re talking about business.

Often times a “burning off” of old thing that are no longer important, valid or valuable are brought to light.  They are let go and in its place it makes room for something new to emerge from the rubble.  It’s like a forest that burns and while the burning and destruction may appear, on the surface to be devastating, in truth the extreme heat and fire was required to allow dormant seedpods to open to create new growth.  It is the same with business and often times personal relationships.

Sometimes you have to let go.  Ultimately, something new and more beneficial blossoms where it looked bleak.  The key is not to hold onto the past but to move forward.

Tom: How does value based leadership effect the quality of personal relationships such as marriage and family?

Maria: Business and personal relationship run parallel.  What is happening at work is usually also happening at home.  The players may look differently including the tone, rewards and pitfalls but usually the results are the same.  There is a saying “how you do anything is how you do everything.”  That is why I make a point of letting the reader know that the process they are under taking is something that is  not confined to just your work relationships.  It’s about all your relationships.  The transformations they engage in will help all aspects of their lives.

The prescription for healing business is the same for healing personal affairs.  It starts with the individual and it requires them to go through self assessment and series of decision about who they truly want to be – not just what others expect them to be, do or have.

Tom: How do you help leaders define their most important values and priorities?

Maria: Often times, there is a disconnection or conflict within the individual as to what they truly value vs. how they behave.  That’s because they don’t truly believe or value what they say they do.  Otherwise they would act accordingly.  The way the brain works is that whatever you think (believe), will determine your actions. Those actions in turn create a result that is always 100% in alignment with your true beliefs.

It’s hard for most people to see this.  So in my workshops I take people through an exercise where they are asked to write down the 5 things they value most in the world.  It’s an open-ended question so the variation of answers is astounding and quite wonderful!  Then I take them through a process that challenges each one of them.  At the end of the process – they have a very clear picture of what is truly important to them in their lives.  Often times it’s a shock because they start to see clearly why their results are what they are. They start to see why their problems at work occur or why a team (clients, customers or other) may not want to follow them. This information helps the individual make corrections they wish to make in their thinking and behaviors.

The beauty of the process is that each person walks away understanding what things are non-negotiable in their lives anymore. They draw boundaries.  They create stronger priorities.  This is called a “value stand”. The by-product? Happier, healthier more productive relationship both personally and professionally.

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Maria Gamb and that you’ll check out her new book Healing the Corporate World, which is coming to Amazon on Tuesday October 12, 2010.

To find out how to buy Maria’s BOOK and lots of cool FREE gifts go to:
http://www.healingthecorporateworld.com

As usual, please do feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

Executive Marriage Coach – How to Fight for Your Marriage

It’s Time to Fight for Your Marriage

“I don’t know if I even want to confront the loneliness in my marriage, if I have the energy or if I really care”.  Ruth has cooperated with a pattern of allowing her spouse to be in their marriage without being a partner. He goes to work and helps take care of the kids, but spends his evenings and nights drinking, falls asleep on the couch and is not present to respond to the emotional needs to his wife – for things like love, security, support, etc.  She feels herself slowly dying inside but has a hard time imagining a different kind of marriage.

So many people are existing in relationships that feel dead in one way or another and don’t know what to do.  Most, like Ruth are repeating patterns of how they learned to survive in their family of origin.  These patterns are deeply ingrained and often invisible to those stuck in them.  The sad truth is these patterns will go on indefinitely until some kind of crisis shatters their world, like an earthquake that shifts the earth beneath one’s feet. Are you passively waiting for your earthquake to happen?

Maybe it’s time for you to fight for your marriage.  That means different things to different people, but it always involves confronting your own fears and taking action.  For Ruth, that action is raising the bar and demanding more from her marriage.  It is time for her to begin speaking the truth to her husband about what she needs, wants, feels, and thinks about her marriage.  She is at the point of feeling she has nothing to lose by telling the truth.

Marriage is designed to be a relationship that supports the growth and wholeness of each partner.  Many of us don’t have experience or role models that support that vision and consequently we expect and accept too little from our marriages.  I encourage you to imagine more for yourself, because you want it, and your kids and community need more from you and your marriage as well.  Begin to speak the truth from your heart to your partner, not in anger but in love.  If things don’t change immediately, don’t retreat to the old patterns but keep speaking; louder, clearer, and more lovingly.  Marriage can and should be wonderful.  You deserve that too.