Executive Marriage Coach – Thanks for Your Support!

As most of you know I participated in the MS 150 bike ride last week end to raise awareness and funds for the benefit of those with Multiple Sclerosis.  There were about 3500 people who pedaled the 150 miles from Duluth MN to the Twin Cities over two days.  It is a well coordinated event with many volunteers providing support and encouragement to the riders.  It is quite an adventure.

One of my favorite moments was a point on the second day when the route turns left and then right in an area that is open farmland so you can see the string of bikers stretching out for about a mile in front you. (No I wasn’t at the front of the pack:)  Another moment was at the lunch stop on day two and people were very tired and longing for the finish line just 30 miles ahead. In spite of fatigue and soreness there was a buzz in the air and it occurred to me that this was the collective energy of people with a common purpose.

I won’t push the comparison to marriage too far by talking about potholes and the ups and downs of the road.  However, two things that make for a successful event also make relationships successful.  The first is having a common goal or purpose.  We don’t often think about it but defining a common purpose can bring zest to a marriage. Some possibilities may be purpose in raising healthy children or creating a home that nurtures the heart and soul of all hang out there.  Successful marriages also depend on the support of those who care about you.  Cultivating a community, which may include family, friends, and groups who are willing and able to encourage you, challenge you, and help you out when needed is a very wise investment.  I am grateful to be a part of your community.

Executive Marriage Coach – Do the Inner Work First

Be careful of things that promise easy and simply solutions to complex problems. The Law of Attraction is one such solution that is often misleading.  If it’s so easy, why are so many still stuck?

One of my new clients told me how she uses dreams and visualizations in the hope of creating her ideal life.  She described how she imagines herself already having all the things she wants and feels the joy and excitement of those dreams.  This is exactly what books on law of attraction say you are supposed to do. Yet, she continues to attract the same dead end relationships and is stuck in a low-paying job.

The reason this client is not attracting what she wants in her life is that her dreams are not congruent with who she is at this point. Since childhood she has used fantasy to escape from reality, which by the way was painful and dysfunctional.  So for her, visualizing and dreaming became a means of compensating and denying her real thoughts, feelings, and circumstances.

Her skills at visualization will be helpful to her down the road but she needs to set it aside right now and deal with reality.  She has to honestly confront her core beliefs, assumptions, and self-image and learn to understand herself in a new light.  She needs to allow herself to heal the unspoken grief she carries inside.  Then she will be able to see herself with more compassion, work on forgiveness, and be able to love and accept herself for who she really is.  As she grows forward into higher emotional well-being she will then begin to attract what she desires, as her self-image, attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs align.

This may sound like too much work and pain but it is the road less traveled, which leads to true prosperity. Don’t be discouraged by the journey.  This is critical to the health of your relationships and your sense of well-being. Find a good coach or therapist who understands how to guide you through the inner work and keep moving forward.  You are worth the effort.

A Life Well Lived

This week my wife’s grandmother died.  She died on her 97th birthday.  There is something poetic about going out of this life on the same date you come in, 97 years later!  It seems like a perfect circle; birth, death, and birth again into the next life.  Grandma had a keen sense humor and no doubt is enjoying this more than anyone.

Grandma lived a remarkable life in many ways.  She was married for over 60 years and then lived independently until she was 90.  She raised 6 kids, had 19 grandchildren, 47 great grand children, and 9 great-great grand children.  In the process of hanging around so long Grandma touched many lives with her love for people and enthusiasm for life.  She always had a smile and something pleasant to say and rarely complained.  Her joy was simply having people stop by to visit. She had a long prayer list and faithfully lifted up her loved ones on a daily basis.

Grandma was one of those unassuming and charming people who made a big impact on people around her and didn’t even seem to realize it.  In addition to all of her family, her legacy is one of love and laughter.  We should all aspire such success and leave such a gift.

We miss you Grandma!

Automatic Wealth

One of the ingredients of sustainable success is developing the right habits of thought, such as learning to focus on what’s really important rather than on what is wrong or annoying or frustrating.  Michael Masterson, author and multi-millionaire defines wealth as accumulated value which you can use to acquire the things you want, whenever you want.  Here is Michael’s secret for wealth-oriented thinking:

Meanwhile, as I said, you can put this secret – the most important secret I ever learned about wealth – into action today by recognizing that every situation you get yourself into will be an opportunity to waste or accumulate value.
Promise yourself, right now, that you will do this: You will begin to acquire a consciousness of automatic wealth.
Start by making this personal commitment to yourself:
* From now on, I will employ my conscious mind to see every situation I am in as an opportunity.
* From now on, I will look closely at every situation to discover what sort of value I can take from it.
* From now on, I will leave each experience with something more than I brought into it – more money or more knowledge or more skill or more trust or more respect.

I like the concept of wealth as accumulated value because it encompasses much more than money alone.   This defininition of wealth includes things like knowlege, skills, healthy relationships, spiritual insight and wisdom, and much more.  One thing I would add to Michael’s recommendations is to seek to add value to every situation you  encounter.  This will complete the circle and through the law of reciprocity compound the value you receive.

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